A child’s level of maturity can be measured in any of several ways - their ability to control their emotions, their ability to communicate, their grasp of the world around them and the fact that they are no longer the center of the universe. However, one would be hard pressed to find a better measuring stick for this than the child’s ability to embrace and exhibit the attribute of respect, compassion and understanding for people that are different than themselves. No where will they be challenged more in this area than when they are introduced to children of different belief systems. What will the child’s reaction be when they see another child wearing clothing tied to their spiritual roots, such as a Muslim child wearing a head scarf (hijab) or a Jewish child wearing a their own head covering (yarmulke)? Will they laugh, be scared, or just stare?

This is such a sensitive subject because it challenges the sensitivities of the parent, and where else is the child going to be schooled in this area? Based on numerous conversations on this subject with everyday people as well as spiritual leaders and mentors, I have found that the sensitive nature is driven by the sense that acknowledgment and respect for another faith brings on a sense of guilt – the feeling that they are being disingenuous to their own belief system. It is this writer’s view that just a slight change in paradigm – the way someone views things – on the part of the parent can make all this difference in the world in how they approach this delicate area of other belief systems. You would have no problem respecting another person’s right to drive a pink car, so long as they weren’t pushing you to drive a pink car. Whatever gets them through the day, right? The reason this is so easy to accept is that it isn’t personal – it does not challenge you in any way.

This brings home my point of changing your paradigm. The very subject of different belief systems and faiths puts many of us on edge, because the matter itself is so deeply personal, but it does not have to be this way. Instead of looking at the standpoint of respecting someone’s faith – something that I personally have no problem with – what if the parent were to approach the issue as respecting the person them self, of which their belief system is merely a subset of the person as a whole. Rather than wrestle with the dilemma of what it means to respect another faith, just simply respect the person of another faith, and their right to drive a pink car and to follow another faith. See where I’m going with this? The person’s faith is now just another attribute of the person, just like their taste in colors and cars. Respect, compassion and understanding – taking these pillars of child development milestones to the area of spiritual diversity is not as daunting as you think.

March 2011